Best Funniest jokes

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

SARDAR: Yaar Tere Bhai di Ma

SARDAR: Yaar Tere Bhai di Maut da bara Afsos hoya, Waisy hoya Ki Si?

FRIEND: Goli lagi Si Mathey Wich.

Sardar: Oh Tu

Shukar Kar Akh bach gai..

Coleg me hmse 1 Q's Pucha Gyar

Coleg me hmse 1 Q's Pucha Gya
Larki k Behosh Hone Pr Usy Kidhar Hath lgaogy?
Ans:" PU_S_"

Jinho ne PULSE Kaha Vo Doctor Bngye
Baki Sb kaminey Mere Dost Hn ;)

Mehmaano k aanay se pehlay agr

Mehmaano k aanay se pehlay agr kala namak
or MOOLI k parathy kha k bethen to
mehman jldi chly jaty hai or dubara nhi atay
Zubaida aapa k totkay ;)

Usne mere Saamne Beth Kr Bohat

Usne mere Saamne Beth Kr Bohat Ghamgeen Lehje mein Kaha,
Agar Tum Mujhe isi Tarah Ignore Karte rahe to DeKhna Main eK din Tumhein chor K chali jaongi..
Maine Muskura Kr Uski Aankhon mein DeKha or Dheere se Kaha:
NiKal Shabaash
Bachiyan Bohat..

Punjabi salesman bargainin

Punjabi salesman bargaining wid lady

baji dopaty vichon sanu kuj ni

labda,

kameez vichon fair ve do lab jande ne,

shalwar vich tay sanu paliyon pana painda aey.

Rat ho chuki thirnEk darkht ki

Rat ho chuki thi

Ek darkht ki shakh pe ek waila Bulbul lotay jesa mu bana k betha hua tha

Wahan se ek jugnu ka guzr hua to usne bulbul se pucha

Bhotni k abi tk ghr nhi gaya yahan betha kya chholay kha rha ha?

Bulbul tapp k bola

"ani deya, tu ty piche UPS fit karwaya hova ae

saday ghr lite nai ay!

Kch Badli Hui Taqdir Nzr A

Kch Badli Hui Taqdir Nzr Aati Hai

Yadon Ki 1 Zanjir Nzr Ati Hai

Parhen B To Kia Parhen ?

Hr Page Pe "SHEELA" Ki Tasvir Nzr ati hai....

Teacher: pakistan k kitne soob

Teacher: pakistan k kitne soobe hain.?
Pthan: chaar,
Teacher:Good
Pehli dfa sahi jwab dia hy chalo ab un k naam btao.?
Pthan:
1.MashriqÂ¤
2.MagribÂ¤
3.ShumalÂ¤
4.JunobÂ¤

During The Match, Batsman LBW

During The Match, Batsman LBW Hua:

Aik Sardar Doosre Se: "Log Hum Ko Pagal Samajhty Hain,
Yahan Tou Sab Pagal Hain,
Lagi Batsman Ko Hai or Cheekh Bowler Rha h."

Boy:Shadi k lye kon c Date rak

Boy:Shadi k lye kon c Date rakhen?

Girl:22 DEC

Boy:Koi Khas Waja ?

Girl:(Sharmatay hoye)Suna hai Saal ki Sub se Lmbi Raat Hoti Hai...

Aakhir Kia Masla Hy rnTum Lo

Aakhir Kia Masla Hy
Tum Logo'n k Saath
Har Waqt Tumhe'n Totke
Batati Raho'n
Faltu Samjha Hy Kia ?
...Jab Dekho Zaleel o Khwar
Kia Hua Hy
SsssssssssHhhh
.
.
.
.
.
Zubaida Aapa Ghusse
Mein :

1 Bacha jiski umr 3 saal hai s

1 Bacha jiski umr 3 saal hai sham se Ghar Nahi aaya LaaL Rung ki chaddi pehna hua hai.

Jis kisi ko Milay fouran,

Uski chaddi utar k Poti saaf kar dein.

Shukriya

Date pe girl frnd ko le jana h

Date pe girl FRIEND ko le jana ho to usko Burqa'a ya Naqab pehna lo.

Is tarha Shabbir b nai dekhe ga or MUNNI badnam b nai hogi

Zubaida Apa k jawani k Totkey:-)

*. . .Pathan to wife: in roman

*. . .Pathan to wife: in romantic mode,

Meri jan kia aj humse naraz hai?wife: nahi tu?

Pathan: tu phir aj humari taraf monh kion kar rakha hai;-)

kitnay nadan thay tufann ko ki

kitnay nadan thay tufann ko kinara smjha.

byjan saharon ko sahara samjha.

kitnay kam zarf thay wo log jo sahill par thay.

mujay nanga dykha our nzara samjha.

Young Man 2 Taxi Driver Young

Young Man 2 Taxi Driver

Young Man 2 Taxi Driver:

Bhai Speed Slow Kro

Mre 12 Chote Chote Bche Hain..

Taxi Driver:
Apni Speed Dekhi He.

Father to Son Agar

Father to Son Agar is bar tu fail hua to mujhay apna baap mat kehna

Next Day

Father: Kiya bana

result ka?

Son: Bas irfan bhai mat pocho

Wife; agar main

Wife; agar main pakistan ki sb sy bari choti K2 pr charhny main kamyab ho jaon,

to ap mujhy kia

dain gy?
.
Husband; Dhaaakaaaa

Teacher:How do you think Shakespeare wrote such master pieces?

Student slowly and Innocently

replies:With a pencil mam

pathan: larki se

pathan: larki se

I love u...

Larki:tameez se baat kro...

Pathan: "BISMILLAH ERAHMAN ERAHEEM"

I love

u.

2 bewaqoof 1 ajaib ghr gay.

Waha sheshy k box my 1 dancha dekha.Jis pr likha tha.

1557 BC.1 bola

aisa lagta hy k ye kisi truck k neachy aya tha.

Dosra bola ha s lye to truck ka number diya hy.

Sardarji:There are

Sardarji:There are lot of girls who dont want to get married!

Friend:How do you know?

Sardarji:I

asked them

BiVi: Shadi K

BiVi: Shadi K Shuru Mai Jb Main
Khana Paka K Lati thi
AP Zada Muje Khilate or
Khud Kum Khate
Pr
Ab Aisa Q Nahi Krte
Shahor:Q K Ab Tmhe Khana Pakana Aa Gya hai;)

Girl: HUM Kahan Ja

Girl:
HUM Kahan Ja Rahe Hain?

Boy:

Long Drive Par

Girl:

Wow
Pehle Kyun Nai Batya

Boy:

Mjhe B Abhi Pata
Chala Hai

Girl:Kaisay

BoY:Break Nai lag rhi:-)

Interviewer to Sardar: f A PA

Interviewer to Sardar:
f A PARATHA & A PIZZA r dropd from 50 Ft, which will reach the Ground 1st?
Srdr: PIZZA
Intr:Y?
Srdr: Bcoz it is FAST FOOD!

NAME: Gulabo Masih

NAME:
Gulabo Masih

PASSI0N:
Jhaaro Pocha

SPECIALIST:
Gattar Or Pipe Line Kholna

Date of Birth:
16/03/85

WEIGHT:
90 Kgs

HEIGHT:
4'5"

COLOR:
Dark Chocolate Black

BIRTH PLACE:
Bhains Colony

DREAM:
Shaadi Karungi To Sirf Sms Parhne Walay Se

Oye Hoey;-)
Muskurahat To Dekho Mere Yaar Ki

Life ho to Aysi...

Life ho to Aysi...

Monday ko Dosti Tuesday ko Pyar.

Wdnsday ko Magni
Thrsday ko Baraat

Friday ko Fighting
Satrday ko
Talaq

Sunday ko Rest
Monday ko Next...

Boss (ghussy se):

Boss (ghussy se):
"Ye tm itny choty choty kapry q pehanti ho."

Secretary:"Kya karon,itni salary me itny hi choty kpry aaty hn."

Boss:"Chalo aj se salary band.

Film Director

Film Director to SAIMA:

"Suhag
Raat ka Scene hai aur
Aap Hero ko garam doodh ka gLass deti ho"

Saima: "Jab GLass se he piLana
tha to mujhe Q cast kiya"?

Bv: ap ny

Bv: ap ny
pichly sal
Eid py mujhe Lohay ka bed banwa k dia tha, is dafa kia irada hy?

Shohar: is sal us men
current cHORNay ka irada hy.

Damagh Insaani Jism ka

Damagh Insaani Jism ka Sb Se Important Hissa Hai,

Ye Saal k 365,
Din k 24 Ghanty jagta Rehta Hai
,

Or Ye Ap ki Paidaish k 7 Hi kaam Shuru kr Deta Hay,

Or Tb Tk Kaam krta Rehta Hai Jb Tk Aap.

"
Shaadi Nhi kr Lete :

1 larki ne namaz parh

1 larki ne namaz parh kr dua mangi

To Maa ne pucha: Tum ne dua mangi kia manga?

Larki : Wohi manga
jo har larki ki khwahish hy.

Maa : kia?

Larki.

,; * " *;,; *"* ;,
'* Irfan ,;*
"* Khan,; *"
Maa
Uffff! Beti tmhari aisi qismat
kahan.

Wo kya cheez hai jo hawa mein

Wo kya cheez hai jo hawa mein ho to Larki pregnant ho jati hai?

Socho

Nahi Pata?

dono Taangain...!

Suhaag raat per doolhe ne d

Suhaag raat per doolhe ne dulhan ko

'Moo Dikhayeè'

may Rs.1,000,000/=

deeye to dulhan heiraan

ho ker

bolee,

,

,

,

,

"kitne aadmi hen..

Ek Bache ne nekar utar kar

Ek Bache ne nekar utar kar Ek Bachi se kaha

Tumare pas ye hai?

Bachi ne apni

Shlawar utr kar jawab

diya

Ammi kehti hai

Jis k pas ye ho Usy wo bohat mil jate hain.

1 Charsi apni bv ko doctor

1 Charsi apni bv ko doctor k pas lay gya

Wo bachay ki umeed se thi

doctor ne pet check kr k kaha

iiss me gas hy

chand roz bad phir aya doctor phir bola

iss me gas hy

charsi ne apna doctor ko dikhaya

aur kaha

isss ko check karo ye lun hy ya CNG pump.

CHALO BHAI SAB KO BOHAT BOH

CHALO BHAI SAB KO BOHAT BOHAT MUBARAKBAD.

shoaib malik ko khelnay k liye PITCH mil gayi or.

SANIA MIRZA KO

1 RACKET K SATH SATH

N2 TENNIS BALL B..

wakil ki beti ko pet me bac

wakil ki beti ko pet me bacha peda ho gya.

wakil:

ye bacha kis larkay ka hy?

beti:

abbo agr ap 1darjan kaily kha lai to ap ko kaise pata chalayga k ap ko qabaz kis kaily se

hoi.

12 se 20 saal ki Larki FOOT

12 se 20 saal ki Larki FOOTBALL ki tarha hoti hai,

1 K Peechay 22 Log!

21 se 30 ki Larki CRICKET BALL Ki tarha hoti hai,

1 k hath Aati hai,

Baqi Taliyan Bajatay Hain!

30 se 40 saal ki Larki nahi hoti,

Wo Aunty hoti hai

Jo TABLE TENIS ki BALL ki tarha hoti hai

1

Kehta Hai Tu Rakh

Dosra Kehta Hai Tu Rakh!

Boy+Girl=Love Boy+Girl

Boy+Girl=Love

Boy+Girl+Love=

Marriage

Boy+Girl+Marriage=Child

Boy+Girl+Child=Family

Boy+Girl+Child+ Family =Problem

But

Boy+Boy=No Marrige

Boy+Boy=No Child

Boy+Boy=No Family,

Boy+Boy=No Problem

So,

East or West

bachabaazi is the best.

Bcha: maa ka sena dek kar

Bcha: maa ka sena dek kar

Ami ye kia hai? Maa:beta ghubare hai

Bcha: saat wali aunty k apse bare

hai.

Maa:tum ne kab deke?

Bcha:abbo kal un me hwa bar raha ta.

2 aurato ne driving seekhna

2 aurato ne driving seekhna shoro kya.

jb dono k shoher apas me mily.

1 bola

meri bv ko pata nahi

kya howa rat ko mera pakar kar kehti hy

1gear 2gear

dosra bola

ye to kuch b nahi meri bv

dono tange khol k kehti hy

500 ki petrol dalna.

Tip Of The Day; 3 mool

Tip Of The Day;

3 mooli k parathy 2gobhi k prathy 1plate mash ki daal or 1pyala ublay hoye chaney

Ek sath khaen Or Apna zaati CNG STATIONbanaen..

Kehty hain Larki k hath me

Kehty hain Larki k hath me barkat hoti hy,

Bilkul sahi,

Q k 2 inch ki cheez hath me do to

6 inch ki

kar deti hy,

.

.

.

Jeisy "Rooti"

gr apko 16 Saal ki larki j

Agr apko 16 Saal ki larki jhuk kr slaam kry to ap ko os ki kya cheez nazr ay ge?

Us ki achi tarbiat...

Bhai hath jorta hon kbi to sahi socha kr...

Daalne laga me to cheekhne

Daalne laga me to cheekhne lagi wo,

Huwa dard itna k seh na saki wo

Taklef hui itni k boli bahar nikalo

Please Dosri size ki choriyan mere hath me dalo.

Husband Begum Humare Sex

Husband

Begum Humare Sex Waley Clips INTERNET per kis Ne Bhaijey..?

Wife: Main ne kaha tha na k

Munney ko Camrey walaa Mobile na le kr do..

1‎ din mila wo mujh se!

1‎ din mila wo mujh se!

bujha bujha sa

juda juda sa

Thka thka sa

Udasion me

Rcha bsa sa

Mujhy andaza

ho gya k Kanjar "Muth" maar k aaya hy.

1 murgha murghi k pichay bh

1 murgha murghi k pichay bhag raha tha.murghi car se takrai r mar gai.murgha bola.

sali ne jaan

to dy di pr apni izzat bacha li.

Tere dil ka dard kisne dekh

Tere dil ka dard kisne dekha hai "Nargas"

Sb bhenchood sirf mammay

dekhty hain...

Delivery k waqt jab Mariza

Delivery k waqt jab Mariza rone lagi tu Dr. faraz bola:

BB G ye waqt

nahi ha rone ka

Ye Waqt hai Bacha hone ka

Us Wqt Q nhi roti thi

Jab

pura lekar soti thi

A man goz 2 a chakla in PES

A man goz 2 a chakla in PESHAWAR

Lahori: Koi maal dikhao.

Khan: Ye 3

larka hai.

Lahori: Koi larki nhi hai?

Khan: (Gun nikal k)

O bhen chod

tm Zina karta ha?

7 doston ke suhagrat k ne

7 doston ke suhagrat k

next day

1.Meri BV to 1110,jese mrzi use kro

2.Mere BV 3310 nikli.36 saal ka purana model.

3.Meri BV N95,zara pyar se chalana parta hai

4.Meri BV to Blackberry hy.Got everything but complicated

5.Meri BV DUAL SIM hy

kbi age dalo kbi peche dalo

6.Meri BV saali china mobile hy,pehli raat mai choot phat gae

7.Bechara Rotey huve bola...

Oy yaro lut gya, barbad ho gya

Mera

set khula hua nikla"

BACHA: mummy muje es dukan

BACHA: mummy muje es dukan se PATAKHy lene hain.

MUMY: beta ye dukan

nhi girls hostel hai.

BACHA: lekn papa to kehty hain k shehr k sary

PATAKHy yahan hain..

Girl talking 2 her sister a

Girl talking 2 her sister after suhaag raat:

Ap se kya parda Baji me sb bta deti hoo

Shab-e-arosi ki kahani me suna deti hon

Mere honton ko honton se dabaya baji,

Bagh-e-nasheman pe b hath lagaya baji,

Laraztey jism me 1 bijli c kond gayi,

Us ne bosa jo seney pe lagaya baji,

Naaf tak reeng gayi haye 1 khari cheez,

Zalim ne dhaaka jo zoor se lagaya baji,

Dard-e-lutf sey 1 haye to nikli lekin,

Dheray dheray se mujhy b chain aya baji,

Phir to anay laga rg rg me saroor-o-masti

Us ne chappu jo rawani se chalaya baji

1 chashma sa ubalta hova mehsoos howa

Aakhri jhatka jo zalim ney lagaya baji

1 kishti me kaptan ny 1 lar

1 kishti me kaptan ny 1 larki ko dhamki di.k agar tum mery sath

nahi soti to me jahaz ko doob donga.

bad me us ny apny shoher ko sms kia.k

tum ko muj par fakhar KRNA chahye.me ne 600 musafaro ko 2 din me 9

dafa bachaya.

1 Kisan ka murga budha ho g

1 Kisan ka murga budha ho gya.wo bzar se jwan murga ly aya or murgion

me chor dia.

Budhy murgay ne jwan murgy ko kaha: larai sy acha hy k hm dono race

lga kr haar jeet ka faisla kr lein.Jo jeet gya murgian uski. Mgr me

budha hon me pehly bhagun ga phir tm bhagna.

Jwan murga maan gya.Budha murga shor mchata bhaag khara hua or jwan

b usk peechay bhaga.

Shor sun k kisan gun ly k ghar sy nikla or jwan murgay ko mar k bola:

Ye tesra murgha b LONDAYBAZ nikla:

Exam & Sex k bad sari g

Exam & Sex k bad sari girls ki feelings same hoti hai!

*kitna lamba tha na

*kaash kuch time aur mil jata

*pehle kitna dar lag raha tha na

*phir to pata hi nahi chala k kab hogiya

*uff 1 ghante tak to meri sans hi band hogai thi

*aagay ka to theek tha pechay ka kitna mushkil tha na

Punjabi: Muj se panga mat l

Punjabi: Muj se panga mat lo,may sher da puttar aa!

Pathan: Yar 1 baat tu bata?

Sher ghar aya tha Ya teri maa jungle gai thi?

Student : sir y the girls n

Student : sir y the girls not take mobile n their own brazier?

Teacher : bcoz the vibration of the mobile convert their milk n2 lassi

Pathan: 3Saal Sa Hamara Bac

Pathan: 3Saal Sa Hamara Bacha Nai ho Raha

Doc: Ye To Barhi ParishAni Ki Baat Hai

Ap Apnay Partner Ko Bulao

Pathan: Sabir Khan Andar ajao

Punjbi or Pathan ki Bv Gum

Punjbi or Pathan ki Bv Gum hogae

Pathan:Teri Bv kesi he?

Punjbi

:Blue Eyes

Red Lips

Sexy body

Or

Teri kesi hy?

Pathan: meri chor teri wali Dhondte hai

a small boy took a knife &a

a small boy took a knife & wrote his girlfriend's name on his hand...

5 mins. Later he start crying loudly..

Why?

.........

Pain

no...

Spelling mistake....:

1 lrka 1 larki ko window se

1 lrka 1 larki ko window se ishara kr k bola,

“jhalak dikhlaja jhalak dikhlaja“

larki chapal utar k boli

“1 bar aja aja aja aja,aa ja.

HARD-DISK woman: She reme

HARD-DISK woman:

She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM woman:

She forgets about you, the moment you TURN her off.

INTERNET woman:

Difficult to access.

SERVER woman:

Always busy when you need her.

CD-ROM woman:

She is always faster and faster.

EMAIL woman:

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

VIRUS woman:

Also called ?wife?; when you are not expecting her, she can cause system crash

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Wednesday, 10 August 2011